The Proposal

I met a few new and old friends this past week, and a couple of them have asked how Vinnie proposed to me.  While I love describing how it happened, I love Vinnie's version better as his version starts off waaaay before I even thought he was going to propose: when he was searching for the perfect ring.  (And he had a daunting task ahead of him: he knew I preferred vintage-looking rings over the Tiffany-style that's very popular these days, something hard to find in most jewelry stores.)  According to Vinnie, he was already on the look out for an engagement ring for me, and we weren't even boyfriend and girlfriend yet!

One time Vinnie will have to sit down and write his side of the story, as it's so entertaining hearing it from him as he loves regaling people with one of his proudest and most treasured moments.  Clara, my best friend from high school (and also one of my bridesmaids) once told me, "The wedding day is the bride's day, and the day of the proposal is all about the guy."  Heehee, Vinnie sure acts like the day of the proposal was his day!

Below I posted a letter that I wrote to my family and friends a few days after the proposal in Avignon, Provence, the South of France.  I think this clearly sums up how I was feeling right after: still in shock, but deliriously happy.  This post is for our dear friends and family who haven't heard our story yet.

Written on December 13, 2006 in Paris, France:

Thank you for the best wishes to me and Vinnie.  We're both very happy and he's enjoying his trip to France immensely.  What a perfect way to cap off my Paris experience :)

I wanted to write you to tell you about Vinnie's proposal, but we've been constantly on the go, in-between me taking finals and making class presentations.  We just got back from the Loire Valley for a day, to take a look at the different castles, and we took some pretty good shots (we're already thinking of having these pics in our wedding video!).  The past week we've taken the train down to the cities of Lyon, Avignon, Nice and Monaco, and not to mention trips to Versailles and EuroDisney. 

I had no idea that Vinnie would propose, but now he says that coming to Paris without a ring would be suicide, haha.  He told me beforehand that he talked to Papa in his office about work and to thank him for allowing him to visit me in Paris, and also that he said good-bye to Mama and my sister Tricia at our house in Libra St.  But he never mentioned that he actually wanted to make paalam to propose!  He had the ring with him the whole time in his pocket, but he wanted to give it to me when the time was right.  He says that proposing in Paris would be cliched, especially after Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' proposal at the Eiffel Tower last year.  So instead he planned to propose on our trip to Lyon, for the Festival of Lights on December 8, a grand festival to commemorate the Virgin Mary who saved the city during the French war.  He thought it would be especially meaningful since I'm religious and Catholic, and because it would be romantic with all the lights illuminating the city.

But when we arrived in Lyon it was raining, raining, raining.  The whole city was dreary, and we were walking through puddles and mud.  It was fun though seeing the different sights and churches, but I was getting cold, cranky, and sleepy because I was so drenched in the rain and my feet were hurting because of all the walking.  Vinnie was in a good mood though, he even purchased some lithograph prints that he said he'd one day put up "in our place".  Also in Lyon, I got stressed out figuring how to get us back to the train station to catch our train to Avignon because the whole city's transportation system was on strike!  So Vinnie decided to put off proposing and wait till we got to Avignon the next day.

Palais des Papes

In Avignon, it turned out to be a perfect day: we toured the Palais des Papes (Pope's Palace, where the seat of the Pope left Rome for 200 years in the 1300s to be in Avignon), walked the cobblestone streets and the walled city (the entire city is enclosed within a wall to guard to the Pope's Palace), walked through a Christmas market, and even had some wine tasting.  Vinnie initially wanted to propose to me in the Palais des Papes, but decided against it when he saw how dark and unwelcoming it looked.  Then he thought of proposing on a historic bridge, Pont St. Benezet (also known as "Pont d'Avignon" from the famous children's song), overlooking the ocean by the Pope's Palace, but when we got there it was closed! 

Pont St. Benezet

We also stopped by a quaint church that we found while walking to our hotel, and Vinnie thought that would also be a great place to propose, especially when he saw that it was deserted and we had the church all to ourselves.  But when he was about to pull out the ring, the church caretaker approached him and asked us to leave as they were locking up the church! The whole while he kept thinking of all the obstacles he had to go through to find the perfect moment.  

In the evening we decided to treat ourselves and have a nice 4-course meal in a good restaurant recommended by our guide book -- it turned out to be a swanky resto named Hiely Lucullus with waiters wearing tuxes, and the food being served on fine china! 

The salon of Hiely Lucullus

We immediately felt underdressed in our sweaters and rubber shoes.  I had grilled lobster as an appetizer, followed by a tender roasted veal with with vegetables, a cheese platter, and a chocolate souffle for dessert.  Vinnie had scallops wrapped in bacon, veal, a cheese platter, then crepes suzette with Grand Marnier sauce.  It was an incredible meal, where in between courses we were served soup and crackers and sorbet to cleanse our palette.  We also shared a bottle of wine to go along with our meal. The whole time Vinnie kept asking me, "Are you happy?" and I kept answering, yes, everything's perfect and I'm so happy.

He excused himself to go to the bathroom, and I didn't know that it was because he felt that the time was right to propose and he wanted to collect himself because he was nervous.  All the right elements were there: I was in a good mood, we were having a delicious meal right by the Pope's Palace in a fancy restaurant, and the day was beautiful in charming Avignon.  As he made his way back to the table, he tripped (only later did I realize he slipped because of all the anxiety!) and he said, "Charley, I want to tell you something," and immediately my guard went up because he never gets that formal.

He started off by saying, "You know how I told you I talked to your mom and dad to thank them for letting me come and visit you, but I really went to them to ask for your hand in marriage."  I was so shocked, I started shaking.  He said he went to Tricia's house to show her my engagement ring, to ask for her opinion, then she dragged him to Mama's house and Vinnie asked Mama there.  Then he said he had a good talk with Papa at the office, where Papa said, "You have 50% of my blessing, and the other 50% will come from Charley."  He pulled out the ring from his pocket, and then he said, "You know I love you... will you marry me?"

I was still in shock, and all I could think was, "Is this actually happening?!?"  All I could say when I saw the ring and listened to him was, "Is this a joke?  Is that real?"  Thinking back to that now I know it seems funny, but I really didn't think Vinnie would propose because we've only been boyfriend and girlfriend for less than a year.  But Vinnie had been dropping hints before, buying prints to put up in "our place", and how he had already been talking about buying furniture.

Vinnie said, "Of course it's real.  And you haven't answered me yet."  I said, "Yes, I'll marry you." and I felt myself get  teary-eyed and we hugged and I gave him a kiss.  I really couldn't emote much because we were in the restaurant and I was still so nervous and in shock.   

Immediately after the proposal

I'm still having everything sink in, but I'm so happy being with Vinnie.  I actually didn't know how these 2 weeks would turn out, being with him everyday, since the majority of our relationship has been long distance.  But since we've been such great friends for so long (13 years and going on 14!  Wow.) that I really feel like I'm with my best friend and everything is so natural. 

I'm attaching a picture of us in the restaurant, after he proposed, although you can't see the ring in the photo; it's a few sizes too big for me, so I wear it now on my forefinger instead of my ring finger.  Really, I've never owned anything so shiny and sparkly before!  I love looking at it, knowing what it means and how much effort Vinnie put to make the proposal and ring be just right (he knew that I like vintage/antique-looking rings).  We can't wait to tell the rest of our friends about the engagement too.

I can't wait to go back home and see everyone in a few days!!  I'm so happy, and I'm so excited to share my happiness with my family and closest friends :)

The ring

The ring, after it was resized.  It fits perfectly!  And it fits my personality too -- a few people have asked if Vinnie dug it out of his mother's jewelry box, because it looks like an heirloom piece.  My close friend Cathy remarked that it looked a little Indonesian too because of the carving.  (Vinnie had it intricately carved and designed, with fine detail on both sides of the ring.)  It's exactly the type of ring that I can pass down to our kids one day!

Special thanks to Pao Lagman for this exceptionally clear photo, and for the photo on our profile.